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Being a Foster Parent
by Jean Palmer
- Allows me to forget about my everyday worries and troubles.
- Gives me a chance to connect with someone who needs my love and care.
- Lets me be a child again- or maybe for the first time.
- Makes an easy connection with my neighbors.
- Gives me an excuse and reason to do some things I’d like to do anyway.
- Brings more intimacy to my relationship with my husband.
- Builds my self esteem.
- Affirms my parenting skills and knowledge.
- Gives me a great sense of satisfaction.
- Can be lots of fun.
1. Allows me to forget about my everyday worries and troubles.
One of the greatest gifts of being a foster parent is focusing on someone other than myself. I can get bogged down on my own worries and troubles, small or large, but having someone else who needs my time and attention allows me to forget whatever I’m worried about. When I tune into this other person who may desperately need me, I am helping them and myself at the same time.
2. Gives me a chance to connect with someone who needs my love and care.
Taking the time to love and care about a child is a gift that keeps giving back. Children, like adults, need someone to listen to them, respect them, and give them time and attention. Even after the children are gone, I can still remember the smile on their face, the flowers we planted together or the excitement as they told me about their adventures.
3. Lets me be a child again-or maybe for the first time.
I’m not sure I had so much fun the first time around when I was a child. Certainly some fun but a memory of lots of warnings about being careful, you’ll get hurt, and following the rules. This gives me a second chance to be a child again in a different way.
4. Makes an easy connection with my neighbors.
5. Gives me an excuse and reason to do some things I’d like to do anyway.
Going to the KennedyCenter free concerts, to the park or farm, festivals and special events are always something I’ve enjoyed doing but seldom do on my own. Wanting to expose the foster kids to new and different experiences allows me to enjoy them too and gives me a good excuse to go.
6. Brings more intimacy to my relationship with my husband.
When you have a foster kid in your home, there are bound to be issues that need to be discussed. This can help cement your relationship as you struggle together to figure out how to handle each situation. A secondary benefit is also laughing together at some of the great things the foster kids say and do.
7. Builds my self esteem.
We are really proud of the way our own two kids turned out and feel that they are responsible, kind, caring adults. We feel that we are bringing some of the same skills we used with our kids to the foster kids we nourish. And that helps me feel good about myself. Recognizing that we can make a difference in a short period of time is very affirming.
8. Affirms my parenting skills and knowledge.
I often feel that doing a few small things can make a huge difference in the way children react to adults. We’ve had a lot of chances to test out our theories and 95% of the time they work. We feel that children need to be respected, given guidance when things aren’t working and be given choices when possible.
9. Gives me a great sense of satisfaction.
Seeing how responsive kids can be--from a teenager who wouldn’t look you in the eye when he first entered your home and a week later asking to be excused from the dinner table-- helps me know that we are making a difference, if even for just a moment.
10. Can be lots of fun.
It is a tremendous amount of work to be a foster parent. It also can be a lot of fun. You give your all but the rewards are great. It can bring life back into your life and give you meaning and purpose. I recommend that you consider it.
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copyright Jean C. Palmer.
Permission is granted to reprint this article as long as the
following information is included:
Jean Palmer is a speaker and trainer.
To find out more about her programs and services,
visit www.Jean-Palmer.com
or call (703) 768-4859
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